A Lot of Bloomin’ Questions

Ah, Spring! A time for rebirth, renewal, and in the case of our own Bloomin’ Bush of a President, regurgitation…

How many times have you heard so-called conservative pundits (actually, religious right fascist mouthpieces) proclaim how much safer America is without Saddam Hussein in power? Do you feel safer? I sure as hell don’t. Not because of our invasion of Iraq, anyhow. To begin with, before the American invasion Saddam couldn’t pass gas, much less manufacture any, without United Nations inspectors or United States intelligence operatives getting a whiff of it. Now, following Bush’s unilateral overthrow of the Iraqi regime, it’s complete chaos. Brave American soldiers (our sons, daughters, brothers and sisters) are being picked off at an alarming clip, innocent Iraqi citizens are dying in untold numbers, there is no authority throughout most of the country, and there is no end in sight.

And through it all, our invasion of Iraq continues to accomplish one thing for certain: energizing a whole generation of potential anti-American martyrs whose own sons, daughters, brothers and sisters are the victims of the Bush administration’s corporate and familial aggression and revenge.

Meanwhile, in Afghanistan, where genuine strides had been made against a real terrorist network…well, what? Not much. While Bush has been sacrificing American military personnel to satisfy his backers’ lust for oil and his own sense of personal vengeance in Iraq, Afghanistan slides ever closer back into the same rudderless morass that characterized that poverty-stricken nation prior to its liberation by a true coalition of international forces.

Hence, more fertile soil for suicide bombers is being tilled. Ah, Spring! An entire region, already wildly unstable, rendered even more so as Bush and his cronies sow the seeds of disaffection and resentment.

How safe do you feel now?

This reporter will feel a whole lot safer once George W. Bush and his cadre of petroleum, pharmaceutical and insurance corporate vampires are out of office. Regime change? Let it begin at home.

Remember Bush the Hero on the flight deck of the aircraft carrier? Now juxtapose that image with Bush the Deserter who shirked his military duty during the Vietnam War. Oh, that’s right; Dubya served his country by getting a cushy post with the National Guard. But, whoopsa-daisy, he forgot to report to duty for a few months. Some might say that George II was Absent Without Leave. George’s response, “Seal my records, dammit!” Which his doting daddy promptly did. We may never know exactly how our president served his country during Vietnam; the only thing we can conclude is that, most likely, he didn’t. And he sure as hell didn’t belong on the flight deck of that aircraft carrier. Some 300 dead American soldiers since that photo-op can attest to that.

In the midst of the ongoing Bush Recession, I’m sure no one was happier to see Janet Jackson bare her boob during the Super Bowl half-time sextravaganza on national TV than our Fearless Leader. Janet at least gave the American electorate something else to ogle than President Bush’s obscene budget that hit the airwaves at about the same time. No doubt the Boob In Chief would rather have us gawk at Janet’s modest surplus than his own bloated deficit.

Instead of ripping the lid off the Republican plan to bankrupt America and mortgage its future, we’re busy TIVO-ing the Justin-Janet show. What about the soaring cost of health care, the erosion of civil liberties, a whole generation of children being left behind by an antiquated and under-funded educational system, vanishing family farms, the decaying environment, the wholesale exportation of manufacturing and jobs overseas, and continued reliance on archaic and radically unstable energy sources and systems? Who (besides Dennis Kucinich) cares? Let’s get back to the real question: Was Janet wearing a pasty or not? George just loves Janet!

Locally, this reporter is confused on a couple of issues (OK, just say it—only a couple?). On the one hand, we have the Boats Off! campaign headed up by former Bellingham mayoral candidate, Sharon Crozier. While I absolutely admire Sharon for her moxie, style and single-mindedness in her ongoing effort to see that Lake Whatcom remains a somewhat pristine water source for much of the city of Bellingham, I wonder how much a ban on powerboats would achieve toward that goal. True, no one is particularly thrilled by the vision of motorboats and jet skis whizzing across their drinking supply. But might we not better protect that water by focusing on a ban on further building in the watershed? The runoff from construction sites, fertilizers, and the various and sundry other effluents of suburbanization surrounding Lake Whatcom would seem to be a far more heinous threat to our drinking water than the “run-on” from motorized boaters.

Then there’s the upcoming proposed ban on smoking in all bars and restaurants being propounded by colleagues of mine in the Kucinich campaign. With the exception of the occasional cigar, I gave up smoking about 10 years ago. I prefer the non-smoking section when I go out to eat. I don’t like people smoking in my house. It’s a matter of choice. But does that give me the right to dictate, via legislation, where folks can and cannot smoke on their own free time? I don’t think so. The very prospect bothers me. Many bars and most restaurants have chosen to go smoke-free in response to consumer demand. That is a good way to go. But requiring it by law? No thanks.

See? I told you I’m a true conservative; didn’t believe me, did ya?

Or maybe I’m just an old weed in the garden of life.

Half-baked and fresh from the oven:  To receive free samples from his new book, “Original Recipes: Tasty Tidbits from ‘Thuney Casserole’ and Other Early Entrees,” please contact Matthew at P.O. Box 28983, Bellingham, WA 98228-0983; or via email, mdthuney@email.msn.com.. §